Facebook Fallopian Tubes

Today was a big day, full of ups and downs but mostly filled with important lessons. 

Lesson #1 - Speed is not often the best way. 

Lately at work I have been pushing to do faster, harder, better. I have a lot to learn. I am not good with a fast product. I need time to make my best product. Right now I have been rushing and not making it my best product. I need to recognize, slow down, and take the time. Things dont have to be perfect but they need to be better than they are right now. and I need to not over commit. Learn to say no at work and be okay with it. 

This speed also applies to home life. I need to be a better wife. 

Lesson 2: ORs are a scary places but a warm smile can be calming. 

I had an HSG test today and walking into an OR is freaky. Big lights, machines. But a warm smile can make anything better. The X-ray nurse looked in my eyes with a smile and when I was nervous those eyes made it better. It didn't hurt but was uncomfortable. During the procedure, I thought something was wrong but good news...clean report.

Lesson 3) Doctors are funny 

My ferility doc who did the procedure was super nice and funny. He was positive and said, some people get pregnant after this procedure. Sometimes we just need to clear things out. Such an uplifting comment. My OBGYN said be opposite, it could be normal and you still need IVF. Thanks! 

After he said it went well, he gave  me a pic of my uterus and tubes and said, "this is for your Facebook." 

Lessons learned. How am I learning more now than in my 20s. Was I not pushing enough to grow? 

Last Friday night

Fridays are magical. The joy of the weekend, the relaxation, projects, workouts, and being home with Jason. 

Indiana has been bitter cold and there is nothing better than fire, wine, and the one you love. 

Thankful

There are times in your life when you feel you got the short end of stick. Lately, it has been one of those times. Everyone seems to have it greener on their side of the fence. 

My job, our lack of fertility, our old house, no pending vacations, the fact Jason is annoyed I work so much, I didn't get Ray a walk this weekend, I am a food snob, my attitude has been a little harsh, I spend too much time with TV, etc. all those things have piled up and made me feel wow I really pick the short straw in this round. 

Then as a blessing from out of the sky something comes in and smack see you right in the face to make you realize you do not have it so bad. 

This morning I received an email from a dear friend and someone who I really respect. She is one of those people in my life that I always wonder how does she has it together,  how does she make it work,  how does she always make everything a positive... All while making it look like she's walking on water with ease. She also happens to be the kindest and most generous person I think I may know. 

Well this morning she opened up and shared with them going on in her life. It's hard and she's alone I don't know what to do I what to say to help her. I often am afraid of speaking up at times like this because what I say I feel is never the right thing. 

But as I sat over the weekend thinking about all the troubles and stress and strain in my life, I failed to realize that my problems really aren't as bad as they could be. 

I have a loving husband a great family and a wonderful group of friends that work to keep me grounded even though I sometimes make it hard. 

That email was a slap in the face and one that I needed and I am thankful. Thankful for the reminder that I am not the only person in this world. 

Back at It!

Well hello there!

It has been a long while since I have done anything with this blog. Although, maybe in 2014 I will spend more time here.

Blogging is such a pressure because you over think every post and try to perfect it. Really this is just an online journal to capture some thoughts.

So here goes....

I had not touched "The List" in a very long time and when I did..WOW. I had actually done a lot of things on it. Pretty cool! I hope that I continue to be able to check things off. I also added some 2014 goals because at the end of the day I am one of those people who like lists. Cross something off...BAM. Cross off 3 things...oh it feels like Christmas.

Here's to spending more time for me and considering my thoughts.

How soon we forget...

Well I started the blog to document what I had done as a first in 2011....yet forgot to write it down. I guess blogging takes more time than I though. Hump.

Anyway...since April it has been a great year. While a lot of great firsts have happened, so has a lot of great learning. I think I can really look back on 2011 and realize I learned about how I need to live for the rest of my life. The word need is a strong one, but I am going to use it.

There are many things in life that want, but only a very few that we need. In life I need....
1) Jason. He is the yin to my nutzo yang
2) My family. The Hurshs are a strange group, indeed; but I need to them to feel like myself. As the family anthem says, "I'll proudly stand up and admit that we're related"
3) Sleep and Down Time. As much as I like to push to the next thing and jam pack every minute of the day, I really need to chill. It makes me a better me
4) Food. Duh...this is a no brainer
5) Time with my real friends. The people who I don't have to apologize for being me.

Yep... That is about it. I need those things to keep going.

It is Christmas time and there are so many things to want. Although, I always should remember what I want versus what I NEED.

The Day After

Well today is the Day After, the Day After Little 500. This year the whole weekend needs to sit in a little longer. So I am going to save writing about it for a few. Needless to say it was fun, amazing, and how I love it.


Right now I want to think about getting more active. I asked Jason to clean up my town cruiser for my birthday. A first, I asked for something bike related. I broke my own rule, by saying no more gifts from QBP. But really, I am so hoping he listens. I want a lot of first times to be had on that bike this summer. I want to ride it dinner, farmers market, the grocery, etc.


The weather is almost to summer!! Come on Sunshine

The Best Time of the Year

When you graduate college you normally think about going back to campus in the fall when the leaves have changed, you wear a new hooded sweatshirt, watch football, and think about how great life was back then. Not in this house...we have the same feeling towards the end of March when Little 5 season is upon us. Little 500 is such a huge part of our house in the Spring.

Just a few weeks ago  I thought to myself,  I am 27 years old why do I still care so much? When I talk to people about our involvement in the race, or more importantly why Jason still dedicates so much time, effort, and emotion to it there is always surprise and confusion on their face.  A few weeks ago, I didn't really have an answer to give them or myself.

So in the effort of wanting to do 2011 differently, I told Jason I wanted to cook dinner for the team and go to quals. This spun into making dinner for the team the night before, staying down at the union, going out to Nicks with our friends still in town, and watching the Cutters qual at the early hour of 8 am.

Final Lap! 

POLE!

This is where I found my answer. There is no other way to put it than...It Just Feels Good. My sister once told me that you are always in a better mood in Bloomington. This was in the midst of her life literally falling apart, and then she went to Bloomington for the night and all was better again.

The revolving team of young men never ceases to amaze me. They are so much better people than I was at their age. They respect each other, love each other, and have fun. Jason at this point in his life, gets so much more out of spending time with them compared to getting drunk with his friends. That is fun too, but not fulfilling.

Then there is Jim Kirkham. I can not write something about him that will say it all or will make not cry at this moment. I love Jim and my life would not be the same without him. He challeged my husband to be a man. In every sense of what that means. His GF Linda is also equally great. Talking to her about life, childbirth, and being a Mom makes me feel like I can just figure it out. It is not only fun but a beautiful process to embrace.

It is been fun to see how my own relationships with the alums of the Cutters and the race has evolved. I see them and it is not like no time has passed. I also love the women they have chosen as life or maybe even just current partners. There are years between but it doesn't feel like it. We get excited about the same stuff, feel the pain of loving a bike rider,  and all just love being active in life.

As I was at Nicks talking to all of them, I have never felt so myself. I talked about stuff that I normally would not have let fall out so easy, I know GASP.

The guys loved the dinner, I loved the company, and my husband was alive. The stress of normal life has got him down, but little 5 lifts him up.

I was so addicted to the high that I went down for ITTs all alone. Jason was in Belgium. Still the same feeling and fun.

Hank during his run

It is a good thing Little 5 is a short season because the high is so addicting. So is the fun. I cant wait to see Heather and the whole crew for the race.

CUTTERS!